Merry Christmas.

Stacie and Olivia and I all got our birds and we love them all...So many great ideas. Val, I love my scarf. I walk around the house with it wrapped around my neck when I feel bad and need some love. Pathetic I know but I am not doing so great.
 My daughter Lisa (the drug addict) came home pregnant again. She is clean but all the behavior is there usually directed at me. I knew something was wrong with her because she just felt terrible and she usually feels really good.  (which is why she continues to get pregnant I think and no longer needs drugs until it is over.) I took her in to the er 3 times and they didnt find anything. Treated her like a subhuman, which I understand but is hard on me. Finally they realized at 24 weeks that the baby has no amniotic fluid, and it has been leaking out the whole time. The prognosis is grim at best. She is in the hospital until she has the baby and then I dont know what will happen. They are trying to keep the baby in there as long as they can. I walk around in a stupor when I am not at the hospital. I feel bad for Lisa but mostly I feel bad for the baby. I don't know if the baby will live, be ok, or be profoundly disabled. There are too many scenarios to consider. I struggle so badly with anxiety anyway that this has been a real challenge. I am a fix it' person and everything has just got so big anymore that I cant even fix myself. Just wanted to let you all know why I havent said my thank you's! I hate to be rude. I just am lost. Merry Christmas to all of you and as always, thank you for all your friendship. And the scarf Val! xoxoxo melinda